One off quiz for the ‘Haringey Solidarity Group’ (don’t know) listed for tonight (3rd) – go to the relevant section for details.

To return to quiz tribes.  I started on Lords of the Manor last week, those groups who for some reason exercise dominance in a pub or quiz and are sucked up to by bar staff and QMs.  As a newer team, you will get the impression that you’re not welcome by such comments from QMs as ‘You do know that there is a team who wins here most of the time, don’t you?’ and when I queried a score ‘Who cares – you’re not going to win anyway.’  These are signs that Lords of the Manor are an issue.  Are they that good? Well, do you ever see them win any quizzes anywhere else?  And do they always win?  These are the group that win more often than anyone, even Serious Quizzers.  In ’their’ pub.

Now, the flipside of a team to which the pub are in thrall are a strange group I have termed The Men Who Stare at S**otes.  These are a group of drinkers who claim some affinity with and allegiance to the bar staff in a particular pub, and by extension think they have the inside track on quizzes.  Physically, they may resemble The Real Ale Tw*ts from Viz. You can get into trouble by a) sitting in ‘their’ place b) asking whether ‘happy hour’ is over c) even thinking about querying the speed or lack of service.  Or, as coincidentally happened last night, mentioning a particular North London football club in less than glowing terms.  That combined with some toys being thrown out of the pram because our seats were in this particular individual’s way is the explanation for our overlong team name, ‘Thank god that miserable bastard has left the pub’. Quite why this group set themselves up as bar staff or QMs’ protectors is unclear, but they tend to overestimate how much the staff like them and are completely unaware of their nuisance value to the rest of the clientele.  They would be well to remember something said to me by a person who was incarcerated at time of speaking:  ‘In this context, all relationships are professional’.  Wise words indeed.  Do they always win the quiz?  Do they ever win, more like.

More next week…

However, lots of new details including the following three Sunday night quizzes:

To turn again to Quiz Tribes, and this week it’s among the most miserable of the species:  Couples.  Now, most couple are fine and enter into the spirit of the quiz.  Where they are not, they tend to turn up in glum groups of two or more.  If this happens outside London, you may deduce that one person is a designated driver and their misery has extended to all in the group.  Somewhat militating against that is the fact that no-one seems to speak to anyone else;  a strange symbiosis dictates what is bought in the infrequent rounds, what is written on the answer sheet, and the time they all rise to go home.  One or more may have pretensions of being a Serious Quizzer and take notes in a funny little notebook.  Do they always win?  God, no.  But if they do, it doesn’t cheer them up…

Not the Trafalgar, but I was at another quiz where where punters are charged £2.50 entry and this goes to fund the QM’s fee and the prize money.  What do you think?  Not much, if you’re anything like me.  Pubs should be acknowledging the uplift in their takings and putting a bit more effort into things.

Back to quiz tribes. The second type of punter that I have noticed turning up regularly at pub quizzes congregates in Big Teams.

Big Teams contain 7-11 people and even if there is a maximum team limit for the quiz no-one in authority challenges them, in the expectation that they are going to drink a lot.  This expectation is not always fully justified. If pressed they will half heartedly ‘break into two teams’, ie fill in two quiz sheets at the same table.  They tend to be younger rather than older.  They arrive in dribs and drabs and the latecomers either sit on someone’s knee or grab a chair from another table, without asking if anyone is using it.  They tend to eat large packets of kettle chips and buy extensive disorganised rounds of drinks, always paying with a card, even if it is only one drink.  The women in the team scream when an answer which they have got right is read out.  There are usually one or two team members seeking quiz answers by mobile phone. If they  are challenged on this practice they tend to reply with the phrase which is the title of this posting. With the exception of this tendency they are usually harmless, though in the days of pub smoking they tended to stub out their fags at your table rather than theirs, to minimise the literal or metaphorical fog at theirs.  Do they always win?  God, no.  But if they do, you may expect more screaming…

And I am informed of a quiz in The Mug House, 1-3 Tooley street, SE1 2PF, on Tuesday 10 January.  I have not been able to ascertain whether this is a one-off or a regular quiz.  There is a bottle of champagne for the winning team and for reservations and further information, contact Agnese on 020 7403 8343.

I did promise something on the various ‘tribes’ of pub quizzing.   There are certain recurring types that one tends to run into, and the more pub quizzes one does, the more one recognises them.  Well, the first has got to be Serious Quizzers.

Serious Quizzers are generally male and tend to keep in the same teams.  They either drink a lot or virtually nothing;  there seems to be no middle ground.  They are frequently missing from your bog standard pub quiz for things like Quiz Leagues which some of them regard as being vastly superior to pub quizzes.  Insofar as I can conjecture what their motivation is for attending quizzes, I would have to say that the competitive aspect seems to be the most appealing one, as league wins carry little or no monetary value.  However, you can recognise some of them from occasional TV appearances on quiz shows which is consistent with money and/or notoriety being a reinforcement of some kind.

Serious Quizzers may even expand their horizons and play in leagues (which produce arcane and impenetrable orders of merit and masonic type names like ‘Sage’, ‘Grandmaster’, ‘Imperial Wizard’, ’Lord High Pooh Bah’ etc) not just in the UK but involving countries including Transylvania, Ruritania and even Narnia.  They come back refreshed from victories against teams of centaurs and may be so pumped up that they will have another half of shandy at the local pub quiz.

Do they always win at pub quizzes?  No, thank god.  But if they do win, you may be assured of the following:  a) they will tell you, and b) the victory will be recorded somewhere in a library of scrawled statistics, vaguely reminiscent of the killer’s journals in Se7en…

More next week.

First time I have ever had to do this, but apologies anyway and enjoy your New Year celebrations…  Many thanks also for all the information, changes and new quizzes I have been sent during the year.  QL

I mentioned before that there was a site which provides details of postal quizzes, which are a good way of supplementing your knowlledge and supporting worthy causes.  Macmillan Cancer Support now has a winter quiz and details of how to obtain it and many others can be found at:   http://sitesaver.dns-systems.net/quiz/viewquery.php?quiz=My%20visit%20to%20the%20Zoo&PHPSESSID=af5995ee4c3887b4b3bc3069b4edf4c9.

I am alerted also to a site where it’s free to register and play quizzes, and that can be found at: www.dkquiz.com .

So plenty to keep you going, and have a great Christmas.  Last update of 2011 next week.

The Oxford, 256 Kentish Town Road, NW5 2AA, 020 7495 3251, has a Tuesday quiz.

In The Three Compasses, N8 (see Monday night for contact details), the last quiz of the season takes place Monday 19 December.  The new season starts on 9 January 2012.  There is no quiz on Boxing Day (26th December).  On Monday 2 January 2012 there is a one-off quiz to raise money for ‘Help for Heroes’ and the London TA Regiment welfare fund.  Starts 8.30 with £2.50 per person entry fee, first and second prizes of ales and wines, and a raffle.

Thanks again to all who have sent in changes. amendments and additions.

Don’t forget my suggested solutions to the Bare Bones crossoword, and I’m glad some people found this helpful.

Short update next week so if any seasonal quizzes remain, let me know and I’ll include them…

I’ve added a few York quizzes to the site, as promised, but the list is by no means complete and I will keep working on it. As and when. When I compiled the list, which was a couple of years ago, I wrote that some York quizzes offered free food, which can’t be bad.  However, the most annoying feature of York quizzes was that you are frequently not told what your score is.  QMs tended to say ‘Here are the answers… and the winning score was 20/20.  Goodnight, eff off and don’t come back!’  Well, that was a slight paraphrase, but you get the picture.

There is an experimental innovation on the site this time – my suggested solution to one of the harder Sunday crosswords, the Bare Bones from the Mail on Sunday – layout is a bit rough but if there is a demand for it I will improve it.  Look under ‘Articles etc’ on the right hand side.

And finally, things to look forward to in 2012:  you’ve heard of Sloane Rangers, soccer tribes, and Essex whatevers:  well, you ain’t seen nothing yet until you’ve read QL’s guide to the Tribes of Quizzing.  Starting some time in January…