A one-off charity quiz is listed for 2 February, but details are sketchy – go to the relevant section for details and follow the email address.

However, lots of new details including the following three Sunday night quizzes:

This week my job is pruning some closed pubs from the list, and thanks to the person who sent a few of these in.  I also rely on the listings of pubs closed, demolished or converted in The London Drinker, which is a CAMRA publication to be found in some establishments.  They have an interesting editorial in the current issue (Dec/Jan) which throws some light on why pubs close and re-open as restaurants.  Apparently, there are such things as restrictive covenants which stop a sold pub being used again as a pub.  Or it is suggested even where these do not exist, pubs with a hint of development potential are priced beyond the range of potential pub operators.  Do we really need more flats?  I wouldn’t have thought so.  But obviously, there is more going on behind the scenes than we knew of…

To turn again to Quiz Tribes, and this week it’s among the most miserable of the species:  Couples.  Now, most couple are fine and enter into the spirit of the quiz.  Where they are not, they tend to turn up in glum groups of two or more.  If this happens outside London, you may deduce that one person is a designated driver and their misery has extended to all in the group.  Somewhat militating against that is the fact that no-one seems to speak to anyone else;  a strange symbiosis dictates what is bought in the infrequent rounds, what is written on the answer sheet, and the time they all rise to go home.  One or more may have pretensions of being a Serious Quizzer and take notes in a funny little notebook.  Do they always win?  God, no.  But if they do, it doesn’t cheer them up…

To expand on some quiz changes which I was sent a few weeks ago:  The Brewery Tap Pub In Wimbledon has closed. The quiz(master), who also does the Sir Colin Campbell on Thursdays, has moved the quiz To The Trafalgar In South Wimbledon on a Monday night. 8.30pm start.  Contact details:  The Trafalgar, 23 High Path, Merton, SW19 2JY, 020 8542 5342.

Not the Trafalgar, but I was at another quiz where where punters are charged £2.50 entry and this goes to fund the QM’s fee and the prize money.  What do you think?  Not much, if you’re anything like me.  Pubs should be acknowledging the uplift in their takings and putting a bit more effort into things.

Back to quiz tribes. The second type of punter that I have noticed turning up regularly at pub quizzes congregates in Big Teams.

Big Teams contain 7-11 people and even if there is a maximum team limit for the quiz no-one in authority challenges them, in the expectation that they are going to drink a lot.  This expectation is not always fully justified. If pressed they will half heartedly ‘break into two teams’, ie fill in two quiz sheets at the same table.  They tend to be younger rather than older.  They arrive in dribs and drabs and the latecomers either sit on someone’s knee or grab a chair from another table, without asking if anyone is using it.  They tend to eat large packets of kettle chips and buy extensive disorganised rounds of drinks, always paying with a card, even if it is only one drink.  The women in the team scream when an answer which they have got right is read out.  There are usually one or two team members seeking quiz answers by mobile phone. If they  are challenged on this practice they tend to reply with the phrase which is the title of this posting. With the exception of this tendency they are usually harmless, though in the days of pub smoking they tended to stub out their fags at your table rather than theirs, to minimise the literal or metaphorical fog at theirs.  Do they always win?  God, no.  But if they do, you may expect more screaming…

Some new one-off quizzes listed in the relevant section, in aid of St Joseph’s Hospice so I think the area is vaguely Harrow/Pinner.  More information available by emailing the address I have included.

And I am informed of a quiz in The Mug House, 1-3 Tooley street, SE1 2PF, on Tuesday 10 January.  I have not been able to ascertain whether this is a one-off or a regular quiz.  There is a bottle of champagne for the winning team and for reservations and further information, contact Agnese on 020 7403 8343.

I did promise something on the various ‘tribes’ of pub quizzing.   There are certain recurring types that one tends to run into, and the more pub quizzes one does, the more one recognises them.  Well, the first has got to be Serious Quizzers.

Serious Quizzers are generally male and tend to keep in the same teams.  They either drink a lot or virtually nothing;  there seems to be no middle ground.  They are frequently missing from your bog standard pub quiz for things like Quiz Leagues which some of them regard as being vastly superior to pub quizzes.  Insofar as I can conjecture what their motivation is for attending quizzes, I would have to say that the competitive aspect seems to be the most appealing one, as league wins carry little or no monetary value.  However, you can recognise some of them from occasional TV appearances on quiz shows which is consistent with money and/or notoriety being a reinforcement of some kind.

Serious Quizzers may even expand their horizons and play in leagues (which produce arcane and impenetrable orders of merit and masonic type names like ‘Sage’, ‘Grandmaster’, ‘Imperial Wizard’, ’Lord High Pooh Bah’ etc) not just in the UK but involving countries including Transylvania, Ruritania and even Narnia.  They come back refreshed from victories against teams of centaurs and may be so pumped up that they will have another half of shandy at the local pub quiz.

Do they always win at pub quizzes?  No, thank god.  But if they do win, you may be assured of the following:  a) they will tell you, and b) the victory will be recorded somewhere in a library of scrawled statistics, vaguely reminiscent of the killer’s journals in Se7en…

More next week.

No updates this week due to illness.

First time I have ever had to do this, but apologies anyway and enjoy your New Year celebrations…  Many thanks also for all the information, changes and new quizzes I have been sent during the year.  QL